“What’s your edc?”
Sitting alone in my Louisville hotel room, working in my pajamas, I pulled up a new internet tab to consult Urban Dictionary. I consider myself proficient in internet speak — I taught many of my friends what Netflix and chill really means — but this one was new to me.
Turns out that Phil, one of gentlemen who swiped right on my Tinder account reading “Here for the NRA, gun emoji, party emoji,” wanted to know my “everyday carry.”
“Actually not an owner myself!” I responded. “Are you going to the NRA convention?”
That’s when Phil turned into my first encounter with a gunsplainer.
“Well I would highly advise you to invest in your personal safety, just my $.02,” he replied.
Cosmopolitan defines a “gunsplainer” as the type of guy who “will condescend to you about why you’re safer in a world where guns are easier to buy than Sudafed, or how a good guy with a gun is the best antidote to a bad guy with a gun.” The term was coined by Singled Out, a group associated with Everytown for Gun Safety, who created a video in which an actor portrays this special type of mansplainer.
Phil wasn’t the only gunsplainer I encountered during my three days at the National Rifle Association’s annual meeting or on NRA Tinder (I set up an account in the name of journalism — to learn about the social lives of NRA meeting attendees while reporting inside the convention).
In the convention’s exhibit hall, I had men try to peddle pink assault rifles by explaining to me that I would be safer if I were armed. A male representative from “Packin’ Neat,” a company that sells devices to “turn any purse into a concealed carry purse,” told me I could stick one of their contraptions into my own bag so that I would always be prepared for the worst.
Throughout the “seven acres of guns and gear,” there were hundreds more companies using female stereotypes and sexist images to attempt to appeal to women and to convince them that they’d be safer if they were armed.
For its part, the NRA tried to spotlight female gunowners alongside their white, male leadership. Katie Pavlich, a young conservative blogger for the pro-gun TownHall.com, even pushed back on the concept of a “gunsplainer” for the 80,000 NRA members in attendance during her convention speech. “A gunsplainer is a man who repeatedly explains to a woman why she’d be safer if she owned a gun,” she said. “Well yeah. I think there’s probably some gunsplainers in this crowd today.” The audience cheered and applauded.
Despite every urge that overcame me throughout the weekend, I refrained from telling the gunsplainers that, according to the National Crime Victimization Survey, women who were victims of attempted or completed crimes used guns to defend themselves just 0.4 percent of the time.
The NRA has a huge financial incentive to convince women they need to be armed, and they’re willing to go to almost any length to do that. They have incorrectly claimed that women can protect themselves against domestic violence if they are armed, when in fact, women are more likely to be subjected to violence in their homes if they have guns. They have pushed for more weapons on college campuses by claiming that students need to be able to protect themselves from campus rape and sexual assault. In reality, firearms make sexual assault more deadly for victims.
The NRA isn’t the only group that thinks it knows what’s best for women living in a world filled with dangers. Women are constantly told how they should change their behavior to protect themselves.
But contrary to popular male belief, I experience the threat-filled world on a daily basis and do not need men to explain to me how to dress, act, and speak in order to avoid being sexually assaulted, or what to carry to avoid being the victim of violence. There’s no one clear solution to the issues women face, but it’s abundantly clear that the answer is not more guns — or being told we need to carry more guns. So thanks, Phil, but I don’t need your “$.02.”
It was refreshing to interact with someone during the convention who seemed to understand that. Gary — who was tempted by my Tinder bio, “Swipe right to talk about guns and freedom” — actually thought he could learn a thing or two from me.
“Guns and freedom are always a good conversation starter though I’m betting you know more about guns than me,” he said to me, before revealing his true feminist colors. “That don’t intimidate me in the slightest.”