The real losers of last night’s Super Bowl? Nationwide Insurance, the brilliant minds behind the most universally-hated commercial of the night. Fade in on a little boy with that Almost Famous shaggy haircut, describing all the things he’ll never do: ride a bike, get married, travel the world. Why won’t he live this fulfilling, beautiful life? Because, he tells us, “Because I died from an accident.” CUT TO: An overflowing bathtub along with the words “The number one cause of childhood deaths is preventable accidents” on the screen, as a calm female voiceover assures us that, “At Nationwide, we believe in protecting what matters most: your kids.”
Damn, Nationwide. Surely parents of children who died are feeling better now because they know that if only they’d bought Nationwide insurance they wouldn’t have experienced that “preventable” loss. What an excellent use of $6.75 million.
Perhaps realizing that the commercial did not go over well with its target demographic of human beings, Nationwide released a statement just after the end of the game. It read:
Preventable injuries around the home are the leading cause of childhood deaths in America. Most people don’t know that. Nationwide ran an ad during the Super Bowl that started a fierce conversation. The sole purpose of this message was to start a conversation, not sell insurance. We want to build awareness of an issue that is near and dear to all of us-the safety and well being of our children. We knew the ad would spur a variety of reactions. In fact, thousands of people visited MakeSafeHappen.com, a new website to help educate parents and caregivers with information and resources in an effort to make their homes safer and avoid a potential injury or death. Nationwide has been working with experts for more than 60 years to make homes safer. While some did not care for the ad, we hope it served to begin a dialogue to make safe happen for children everywhere.
The last thing we need is for anyone to instigate a “conversation” that will only heighten the fears parents already feel. No one needs help visualizing the worst case scenario. The language in this statement is, if possible, even more off-putting than the ad itself: Nationwide wants us to know that “the sole purpose” of the message was to get everyone talking about safety. It’s not about selling insurance! That would be so crass. How dare anyone suggest such a thing.
Today’s most-lamented style of childcare isn’t lax parenting; it’s helicopter parenting. Overparenting is the order of the day: too much fear and not enough risk, too much supervision and not enough independence, too much Purell and not enough germs. We ban swings on playgrounds, chapstick, sunscreen. We’re socialized to see danger in the most innocuous places.
Even if Nationwide’s 47-second spot were thoughtful and effective (obviously, it’s not), it would be sparking the opposite of the intervention from which viewers could benefit. We could use an intervention about the fact that a mother who leaves her child lone to play in a park, out of necessity and with a cell phone for emergencies, can get arrested for “unlawful conduct towards a child” and thrown in jail. We should be talking about how kids who walk to school sans direct parental supervision can get picked up by the cops and be questioned by CPS workers, and their parents can be investigated by the police.
What we don’t really need is a reminder that gut-wrenching accidents happen every day. Everyone already knows that. And even if we lived in some alternate reality where we didn’t know that, would this really be the ideal venue to bring it up? Sandwiched between Kim Kardashian’s data plan and a life-size game of Pac-Man? This about sums up the popular reaction:
Nationwide says "Enjoy the Halftime Show!" pic.twitter.com/VGesJZBWlN
— Dan O'Donnell (@DanODonnellShow) February 2, 2015
“Look how amazing kids can be.” – Microsoft
“Unless they die.” – Nationwide
— Zach Harper (@talkhoops) February 2, 2015
https://twitter.com/BurkieYCP/status/562044625968705536
So things are not too great with humans, but don’t worry: we’ll always have the Budweiser puppy, and that one dancing shark who didn’t learn Katy Perry’s choreography.